Don’t be afraid to take up space
You’re allowed to take up room!
I grew up in a Catholic household, with Sunday sermons that told us to be humble, selfless and quiet. Convent school didn’t help either. It only contributed to years of being taught to be well-behaved, well-mannered and, essentially, invisible.
The message was everywhere: Don’t take up space. Don’t be loud. Don’t be too much. Don’t shine too brightly. Make it easier for others to run their lives, even if it means dimming your own.
As women, this is drilled even deeper. Sacrifice is expected. Self-erasure is romanticised. We’re taught to be the background characters in our own stories: supportive, dependable, invisible until needed.
But here’s the thing I’ve had to unlearn: taking up space is not selfish. It is survival. I’ve been practising it for years now and, honestly, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Just ask my husband. I even do it literally! Almost every night, I end up pushing him off the bed without realising.
Maybe this whole “fade into the background” thing worked when people lived in close-knit communities, when life was shared and roles were simpler. But in the modern world, where we live increasingly solo lives, where everyone is juggling their own chaos, shrinking yourself doesn’t serve anyone. Least of all you.
Taking up space is not arrogance. It is self-respect. It is knowing that your needs, your voice, your ambitions and your presence are not inconveniences. They’re legitimate. They’re necessary.
You’re allowed to be the main character in your own life, not the supporting cast, not the sidekick, not the quiet girl behind the scenes making everything easier for everyone else.
Taking up space looks like saying no without guilt. Speaking up even if your voice shakes. Asking for help. Setting boundaries. Choosing your joy. Owning your choices. Refusing to apologise for simply existing.
It’s a muscle we were never taught to build, but one we desperately need now. Because if you don’t take up space in your own life, someone else will take it from you. And honestly, you are in control of your own life story, so why not show up fully, loudly, unapologetically?